In traditional education, children are often overwhelmed by demanding learning activities and tightly packed schedules. But have we noticed that parents are just as stressed—constantly paying monthly tuition fees for endless classes, programs, and expectations?   And what happens when that stress builds up?  Tiger mums, helicopter mums, angry mums—each trying to hold it all together, yet unintentionally turning a once peaceful home into a daily battlefield.   If you’ve alread

A Reflection by Dr. Lai Mei Kei Vivien (Homeschool educator with 24 years of hands-on experience in multicultural settings; homeschool researcher and author in Hong Kong; sole homeschool teacher who guided her daughter through their homeschooling journey to successful admission into a local university at the age of 15) In the past, I actively encouraged educational researchers to explore homeschooling in Hong Kong. I believed that thoughtful research could help expand the lit

在香港，許多父母都希望孩子成績優異、考上好學校。這種想法讓「虎媽式教育」十分普遍——嚴格管教、要求服從、重視分數。然而，香港的賴美琪博士（Dr. Lai Mei Kei Vivien）在教養女兒 Paris 的過程中，發現了一種更溫柔、更有效的方式，她稱之為「錦鯉媽正向教養」。   虎媽的方式 虎媽通常會： - 安排大量補習和課外活動 - 要求孩子聽話、遵守規矩 - 將成績視為最重要的指標 這樣的方式雖然可能讓孩子表現出色，但也容易造成過度壓力與自信心不足。   錦鯉媽的方式 賴博士選擇以在家教育的方式親自教導女兒 Paris。她如同錦鯉般，在混亂的環境中保持平靜，以愛與理解陪伴 Paris 的成長。   錦鯉媽的教養方式包括： - 以愛與耐心引導孩子 - 理解孩子的感受與困難（同理心） - 給予孩子探索與成長的空間 - 接納孩子獨特的成長步伐與性格 - 以愛與幽默與孩子互動與對話 結果，Paris 在 15 歲時從在家教育順利升學進入大學，而且是一位快樂、有韌性的學生。     教養的真正目標 賴博士認為，教養不只是讓孩子成績優秀，更重要的是讓

“Children don’t follow advice — they follow example. When words and actions clash, trust shatters.”— © Koi Mum by Dr Lai Mei Kei Vivien   This quote from Koi Mum reminds us that children don’t just listen to what adults say—they watch what adults do. If a parent says one thing but acts differently, the child gets confused. Over time, this can break trust. But here’s the good news: even mistakes can become powerful teaching moments.   The Wisdom of the Koi Fish In Chinese cult

Let’s be clear from the start: choosing homeschooling does not   mean your child will never return to school. This is a common misconception in Hong Kong — that homeschooling is a permanent decision or a rejection of traditional education. But that’s not the case. Homeschooling can be a temporary, restorative path   — a bridge, not a destination. It’s not about replacing or competing with schools. It’s about giving children the space they need to heal, reconnect, and rebuild.

In Hong Kong’s competitive school system, students are taught—explicitly and implicitly—that success means perfection. A score of 95% is not a triumph, but a trigger for criticism. Parents ask, “Why not 100?” or “Why didn’t you come first?” even when their child ranks second in class. Teachers, under pressure themselves, often reinforce this mindset through rankings, rigid grading, and public comparisons.   This culture breeds fear and hesitation. Students begin to equate the

In the quiet rhythm of homeschooling her daughter Paris, Dr. Lai Mei Kei Vivien discovered something profound: parenting is not merely about teaching — it’s about transformation. Amid textbooks and daily lessons, a deeper wisdom began to unfold. It was within this intentional journey that the seeds of 慧舍樂 (Huì shě lè) were planted — a philosophy that reimagines positive parenting through the lens of wisdom, detachment, and joy.   What Is 慧舍樂 ( WisdomDetachJoy )?   慧舍樂 is a po

When people talk about homeschooling, one of the most common concerns raised is time management. Without the structure of a traditional school day, how can children stay disciplined? Isn’t too much free time risky?   These are valid questions. But in my experience, time management in homeschooling doesn’t have to look like a rigid schedule. In fact, it can be something much more powerful: self-leadership.   When I homeschooled my daughter Paris, I didn’t manage or micromanage

Are all students in traditional schools naturally social butterflies? And what does it truly mean to be “well-socialized”? Does it mean being able to get along with everyone, no matter what?   Let’s pause and reflect. Many students in schools struggle with socialization—not because they lack the ability, but because the environment itself can be toxic. Bullying, peer pressure, exclusion, and negative friendship circles are real and common. Can we still call that “healthy soci

My daughter Paris transitioned from homeschooling to university at just 15 years old.  Naturally, people are curious. They often ask, “How did she do it?”  Was she buried in textbooks all day, grinding through endless lessons like a studying machine?   But the truth?  She sleeps well. She plays freely. She socializes. She reads for joy. She watches her favorite videos.  Her life is full—not just of learning, but of living.   So how does she do it?  How can a child thrive acad

Within every child lies a dream yearning to soar. For homeschoolers in Hong Kong, that dream charts a unique course—one that breaks free from classroom walls and rigid standards, and instead follows the winds of curiosity, creativity, resilience, joy, and compassion. We walk a path less traveled. Not because we reject education, but because we redefine it. Homeschooling is not a shortcut—it’s a commitment. A daily devotion to our children’s mental well-being, their unique lea

在育兒的世界裡，「虎媽」以嚴苛著稱，「直升機媽媽」則以過度干預聞名。這些教養方式雖出於愛與期望，卻常讓孩子在壓力中迷失自我，甚至失去生命的活力。   若我們回歸東方哲學，從莊子的「道」中汲取智慧，便能看見另一種育兒之道——鯉魚媽媽的正向教養。她不以控制為教養的核心，而是以信任與陪伴，讓孩子在生命的水流中自由成長。   莊子哲學的育兒啟示   莊子主張「順其自然」、「無為而治」，認為萬物皆有其本性，若強行干預，反而傷其根本。在〈馬蹄〉篇中，他批評伯樂為了馴馬而削蹄束首，導致「馬之死者，十有二三」。這正如現代父母過度干預孩子的成長，反而使孩子失去活力與自我。   鯉魚媽媽則選擇信任孩子的天性，不急於塑造他們成為某種「成功模板」，而是靜靜守護他們的獨特光芒，讓孩子在生命的水流中自在游動。     賴博士的教養語錄   1.      「孩子不是要被雕塑，而是要被理解。」 2.      「教育不是灌輸，而是點燃。」 3.      「如水之教養，柔而不弱，潤物無聲。」   鯉魚媽媽的日常實踐   1.      傾聽而不急於回應：讓孩子有空間表達，而非

香港在家教育協會 2025年10月20日   親愛的林老師:   本人謹代表香港在家教育協會（HSA），向您致以最誠摯的感謝，感激您無私奉獻，為本會的學生提供免費藝術教學。   您不僅教授藝術，更為在家教育及輟學的孩子們帶來光亮、愛與希望。每一筆畫都是關懷的訊息，每一個微笑都是創意的種子，將在課堂之外茁壯成長。您的教學不只是技巧的傳授，更是心靈的滋養。   您在我們社群中的出現是一份珍貴的禮物。您如同善良的燈塔，照亮了這些教育弱勢孩子的前行之路。看到他們臉上真摯的笑容、眼中閃爍的光芒，我深感欣慰，也讓我所有建立協會的辛勞都煙消雲散。   衷心感謝您，林老師，成為我們的靈感與希望之源。您的藝術與愛心，已在這群年輕生命中留下深遠的印記。   此致  敬禮   賴美琪博士 創辦人 香港在家教育協會     Hong Kong Homeschool Association 20 October 2025   Dear BoSun Lam,   On behalf of the Hong Kong Homeschool Association (HSA),

Dear Dr. Jacky Kwok Ho Kai,   On behalf of the Hong Kong Homeschool Association and the entire homeschooling community, I extend our deepest gratitude. Your Homeschool Education Talks (HET), especially your guidance on social issues surrounding parenting and child relationships, and your generous kindness in sharing practical strategies for resolving family conflicts from the perspective of a social worker, have been profoundly impactful.   Your commitment to equity and empat

Dear Dr. Samuel Fung,   On behalf of the Hong Kong Homeschool Association and the entire homeschooling community, I extend our deepest gratitude. Your Homeschool Education Talks (HET), especially your guidance on DES examination knowledge, have empowered countless homeschool educators across the city—offering clarity, confidence, and practical tools to navigate their homeschooling journey and their future DSE university entrance examinations.   Your belief in educational dive

In a city where parenting is often shaped by pressure, control, and comparison, the Koi Mum philosophy offers a gentle, compassionate path—rooted in ancient Chinese wisdom and lived through Dr. Lai Mei Kei Vivien’s personal journey in homeschooling and parenting. Unlike Tiger Mums who demand perfection or Helicopter Mums who micromanage every step, the Koi Mum flows with her child’s natural rhythm—creating space for joy, growth, and emotional well-being. It’s not just a philo

The HSA is powered entirely by volunteers—myself as the primary contributor—working without pay or personal gain. I’ve invested my time, energy, connections, and personal funds to build a support system for homeschoolers and out-of-school students in Hong Kong. Our members come from everyday and educationally marginalized families. I do not ask for donations, because I believe in uplifting others without adding financial pressure to those already facing parenting and learning

鯉媽以愛與信任教養孩子，放下控制與執著，尊重生命節奏，在空性中共同成長- Dr Lai Mei Kei Vivien   鯉媽之道 賴美琪博士   在香港，虎媽與直升機媽的教養方式十分普遍——往往源於對失敗的恐懼、激烈的競爭，以及對成功的焦慮。儘管這些方式出於關愛與期望，研究與實際經驗卻顯示，它們對孩子的心理健康與家庭關係造成了深遠的負面影響。   為何虎媽教養方式不可取 虎媽教養強調嚴格紀律與高度學業成就。現實中，孩子常被安排密集課程與持續補習，幾乎沒有休息或玩樂的空間。雖然部分孩子在成績上表現優異，但許多孩子在情感與心理層面卻深受影響：   - 焦慮與抑鬱情緒增加  - 自尊心低落與情感封閉  - 親子關係緊張  - 創造力與自主性受限    為何直升機媽教養方式有害 直升機式教養涉及過度監控與干預。在香港，這常表現為家長掌控孩子生活的每個細節——從功課到交友甚至休閒活動。其結果包括：   - 孩子難以培養獨立性與情緒調節能力  - 過度依賴或反叛行為  - 親子信任與連結受損  - 心理健康問題與抗壓能力下降   賴博士之鯉媽教養哲學...

In a city where children grow up under the weight of relentless academic pressure, parenting has become a performance sport. Tiger mums roar with discipline and high expectations. Helicopter mums hover with anxiety and control. But what if parenting didn’t have to feel like a battlefield—or a surveillance mission?  What if it could be more like life itself—simple, present, and grounded? Amid Hong Kong’s high-pressure parenting culture, where children are often measured by the

Dear Professor Dr. Chan,   You are a highly respected global educator, known for your adaptive thinking and inclusive spirit. As a pioneer in Hong Kong’s homeschool education sector—and as one of your grateful students—your support since my homeschooling theses and the founding of the Hong Kong Homeschool Association has meant more than words can express.   On behalf of the Hong Kong Homeschool Association and the entire homeschooling community, I extend our deepest gratitude