When School Hurts: Homeschooling as a Restorative Path in Hong Kong

Let’s be clear from the start: choosing homeschooling does not mean your child will never return to school. This is a common misconception in Hong Kong — that homeschooling is a permanent decision or a rejection of traditional education. But that’s not the case. Homeschooling can be a temporary, restorative path — a bridge, not a destination. It’s not about replacing or competing with schools. It’s about giving children the space they need to heal, reconnect, and rebuild.

In recent years, many school-aged children in Hong Kong have experienced deep emotional distress. They feel overwhelmed by academic pressure, socially isolated, and increasingly reluctant to attend school. Some even begin to associate school with guilt — believing that if they don’t go, they are somehow “bad” or “wrong.” This internalized shame, combined with relentless societal and parental expectations, can push them toward emotional burnout. Eventually, many of these students shut down entirely. They refuse to go to school, isolate themselves in their rooms, and stop communicating with parents, teachers, and social workers. They lose trust in the very people trying to help — believing they were pushed to this breaking point by those same individuals. I’ve received countless calls and heard heartbreaking stories from families facing this crisis.

I’ve also received calls from parents who shared that their children are experiencing learning burnout — a state of emotional and mental exhaustion caused by overwhelming academic pressure. This often leads to frequent family quarrels and strained relationships at home. Their stories, along with my homeschooling experience, have shown me how powerful homeschooling can be as a healing alternative in Hong Kong. It offers children the chance to step away from the stress of traditional schooling, recover at their own pace, and rebuild both their confidence and their connection with family.

Would we rather watch emotionally distressed students spiral into years of isolation, locked away in their rooms, disconnected from learning and life — or offer them a lifeline through homeschooling, where healing and growth can happen at their own pace?

Isn’t it more compassionate — and more effective — to let these children step away from the pressure cooker of traditional schooling, connect with other homeschoolers, attend Dr. Lai’s free lessons, and rediscover joy in learning while rebuilding trust and emotional resilience?

When the choice is between emotional shutdown and a restorative path, shouldn’t we choose the one that keeps their minds engaged, their spirits lifted, and their futures open?

For many, it’s not just about education — it’s about emotional survival and restoring harmony at home. Once these students begin to recover emotionally and regain their sense of happiness, they can transition back to traditional schools with renewed confidence, mental resilience, and academic readiness.

Author’s Remark

Many people ask why I volunteer so much time and effort to support homeschool and out-of-school families — especially when there’s no personal benefit. My answer is simple: I’ve heard their pain, their cries, and their struggles. If I don’t help them, who will?

Isn’t it worth asking — if we hear someone crying for help and choose to walk away, what kind of society are we building?

Life isn’t just about personal gain. It’s about creating positive change, uplifting those in suffering, and answering the silent calls for help that too often go unheard.

A Call for Integrity: When Help Turns Harmful

Is it right that when Dr. Lai and homeschool educators open their hearts to share the deep pain of struggling families — and invite you to help as a volunteer — you instead use that trust to misguide them and take personal or financial gain?

It’s like being handed a bucket to help put out a fire — and choosing to sell the water instead.

To those who came to the Hong Kong Homeschool Association claiming to volunteer, yet took from our limited funds for personal benefit: please reflect. These families didn’t cry out for profit — they cried out for compassion. Misusing their trust is not just unethical, it’s deeply harmful.

It must be remembered: the families and children we serve are vulnerable and deserve genuine care — not exploitation or hidden agendas. Let your conscience guide you back to integrity. Choose to be part of the healing, not the hurt.

Written By Dr. Lai Mei Kei Vivien