水道教養（Waterway Parenting）

水道教養（Waterway Parenting）並非一套理論性的哲學，而是一種實踐性、持續演化的教養方式。我創立這個理念，是為了幫助身處高壓教育文化中的家庭，透過共同學習重新建立情感連結。這套方法源自我多年來親自在家教育女兒 Paris 的經驗，我陪伴她從在家自學一路走到 15 歲進入大學。

水道教養將教養重新定義為一段共同探索的旅程，在這段旅程中，好奇心、脆弱共享與情緒智慧，比學業成就更為重要。它以七大核心原則為基礎：以情感陪伴取代專業權威、脆弱共享、親子共同探索的動態關係、情緒智慧、韌性、學習的快樂，以及成長型思維。在一個常常將結果凌駕於關係之上的教育體制中，水道教養提供了一條更溫柔、更人性化的道路——一條建立在陪伴、信任與共同成長上的道路。

「學習不是要知道所有答案——而是一起不知道。」 

—— Dr. Lai，水道教養理念創立者及香港在家教育協會創辦人

重新想像香港高壓教育文化下的教養方式

在香港，教養常常像是一場與時間賽跑的競賽。從孩子踏入幼稚園的那一刻起，學業表現的壓力便開始累積。父母出於愛與社會期望，投入大量資源在補習、課外活動與考試準備上。然而，在這場追求卓越的過程底下，卻潛藏著一場靜默的危機：孩子們在焦慮、疏離與情緒疲憊中成長。

作為水道教養與香港在家教育協會的創辦人，我創立這套理念正是為了回應這場危機。多年來，我聆聽了無數父母——其中許多是教育工作者——描述家中充滿緊張氣氛、孩子害怕上學，以及日益加深的無力感。我逐漸意識到，缺乏的並不是努力，而是情感上的連結。

教養的新指南針

這正是「學習不是要知道所有答案——而是一起不知道」這句話所帶來的轉化力量。

在傳統的教養模式中，成人被期待擁有所有答案。但這種心態會拉開親子間的距離，加深權威階層、壓抑好奇心，並阻礙情緒上的開放。水道教養則提供了另一條路——一條建立在共同學習、脆弱共享與情緒智慧上的道路。它以七大原則為指引：以情感陪伴取代專業權威、脆弱共享、親子共同探索的動態關係、情緒智慧、韌性、學習的快樂，以及成長型思維。這些價值共同促成更深層的連結、快樂的學習，以及持久的情緒韌性。

根據我在家教育的經驗，我將學習理解為：

1. 學習不是掌握知識：父母不需要成為專家——他們需要的是情感上的陪伴。當孩子問問題時，可以坦然說：「我不知道，我們一起找答案吧。」這樣的回應展現了好奇心與謙卑。 

2. 脆弱共享：當父母承認自己也不確定時，孩子也能安心地表達自己的不安。這種互動建立了信任與情緒安全，尤其在一個孩子常因表現而被評價的文化中更顯重要。 

3. 親子動態關係：水道教養將成人的角色從權威者轉變為共同探索者。教養不再是控制結果，而是陪伴孩子一起走過未知。 

4. 情緒智慧：這種方式培養同理心、耐心與連結。它教導孩子，他們的價值不在於成績，而在於他們成長、提問與與人互動的能力。 

5. 韌性：孩子學會以勇氣與適應力面對挫折。當父母肯定孩子的情緒並示範堅持不懈，孩子便能建立從挑戰中復原的力量。 

6. 學習的快樂：快樂成為學習的核心。當孩子感到安全、被支持且有情感連結時，他們會更投入學習，並培養終身的學習熱情。 

7. 成長型思維：錯誤被視為成長的一部分。孩子被鼓勵將努力與堅持視為進步的途徑，而非能力不足的證明。

水道教養的實踐

在我陪伴 Paris 成長的旅程中，我全然實踐了這套理念。我們的在家教育並不是把學校搬回家，而是建立一段以快樂、互動與情感為基礎的學習關係。我們一起慶祝問題、擁抱不確定性，並將情感連結置於學業完美之上。

一場重新連結的呼喚

香港的教育制度或許嚴格，但我們的教養方式不必複製這種強度。我們可以選擇以陪伴取代完美，以連結取代控制。我們可以選擇培養有韌性、快樂的學習者，讓他們將成長視為一場終身的冒險。

讓我們不再追求知道一切， 

讓我們一起開始「不知道」。

©Dr. Lai Mei Kei Vivien. 保留所有權利。

English version

Waterway Parenting is not a theoretical philosophy—it is a practical, evolving approach I created to help families in high-pressure education cultures reconnect emotionally through shared learning. It was shaped through my years of homeschooling my daughter Paris, whom I guided from home education all the way to university at the age of 15.

Waterway Parenting reframes parenting as a journey of co-exploration, where curiosity, vulnerability, and emotional intelligence matter more than academic perfection. It centers on seven guiding principles: emotional presence over expertise, shared vulnerability, a co-explorer parent-child dynamic, emotional intelligence, resilience, learner happiness, and a growth mindset. In a system that often values results over relationships, Waterway Parenting offers a gentler, more human path—one grounded in presence, trust, and mutual growth.

“Learning isn’t about knowing everything — it’s about not knowing together.” 

— Dr. Lai, creator of the Waterway Parenting philosophy & founder of the Hong Kong Homeschool Association

Reimagining Parenting in Hong Kong’s High-Pressure Education Culture

In Hong Kong, parenting often feels like a race against time. From the moment a child enters kindergarten, the pressure to perform academically begins to mount. Parents, driven by love and societal expectations, invest heavily in tutoring, extracurriculars, and exam preparation. Yet beneath this pursuit of excellence lies a quiet crisis: children are growing up anxious, disconnected, and emotionally fatigued.

As the founder of Waterway Parenting and the Hong Kong Homeschool Association, I created Waterway Parenting to address this very crisis. After years of listening to parents—many of them educators—describe homes filled with tension, children who dread school, and a growing sense of helplessness, I realized what’s missing isn’t effort—it’s emotional connection.

A New Compass for Parenting

This is where the philosophy behind “Learning isn’t about knowing everything — it’s about not knowing together” becomes transformative.

In traditional parenting models, adults are expected to have all the answers. But this mindset creates distance. It reinforces hierarchy, suppresses curiosity, and discourages emotional openness. Waterway Parenting offers a different path—one rooted in collaborative learning, shared vulnerability, and emotional intelligence. It is guided by seven core principles: emotional presence over expertise, shared vulnerability, a co-explorer parent-child dynamic, emotional intelligence, resilience, learner happiness, and a growth mindset. Together, these values foster deeper connection, joyful learning, and lifelong emotional strength.

Based on my homeschooling experience, I see learning as:

1. Learning is not mastery: Parents don’t need to be experts—they need to be emotionally present. When a child asks a question, it’s okay to say, “I don’t know. Let’s find out together.” This models curiosity and humility. 

2. Shared vulnerability: When parents admit they’re unsure, they create space for children to do the same. This builds trust and emotional safety—especially vital in a culture where children often feel judged by performance. 

3. Parent-child dynamic: Waterway Parenting reframes the adult’s role from authority figure to co-explorer. It’s not about controlling outcomes, but about walking alongside the child through uncertainty. 

4. Emotional intelligence: This approach fosters empathy, patience, and connection. It teaches children that their worth isn’t tied to grades, but to their ability to grow, ask questions, and relate to others. 

5. Resilience: Children learn to face setbacks with courage and adaptability. When parents validate emotions and model perseverance, children build the strength to bounce back from challenges. 

6. Learner happiness: Joy becomes central to the learning process. When children feel safe, supported, and emotionally connected, they engage more deeply and develop a lifelong love of learning. 

7. Growth mindset: Mistakes are embraced as part of the journey. Children are encouraged to see effort and persistence as pathways to improvement, not signs of inadequacy.

 Waterway Parenting in Action

In my own journey raising Paris, I embraced this philosophy fully. Our homeschooling experience wasn’t about replicating school at home—it was about cultivating a relationship where learning was joyful, mutual, and emotionally grounded. We celebrated questions, welcomed uncertainty, and prioritized emotional connection over academic perfection.

A Call to Reconnect

Hong Kong’s education system may be rigorous, but our parenting doesn’t have to mirror its intensity. We can choose presence over perfection. We can choose connection over control. We can choose to raise resilient, joyful learners who see growth as a lifelong adventure.

Let’s stop trying to know everything. 

Let’s start not knowing—together.

© Dr. Lai Mei Kei Vivien. All rights reserved.